Growing up fast

I can't express in words how much I am thoroughly enjoying watching my middle and little children grow up. For the last 6 years I have spent my life either pregnant or nursing. I'm in a new season now. Watching more. Smiling bigger. Giggling a bunch. Reflecting. Yearning at times for another precious babe. Content however with the three I have. Wishing I could stop time, but enjoying the freedoms, twists and joys of each new season.
George has started preschool this year and the experience has changed him. It's given him a new confidence . An "I'm important" confidence. He wears his book bag proudly, fiddles through his take home papers as if they were "bills," talking to himself about each one. Demands that he wear socks, because after all, that is what grownups do. Or so he tells me. I think he had started contemplating coming out from under Joshys wing, but is only now discovering how to do that. I LOVE watching it. And so because George has started preschool 3 mornings a week, that leaves just me and Riley. I love her in a new way now. She is my sidekick. She talks constantly, practicing all of the new words she's learned in correct context. "Oh dear mommy, what is that?" or my favorite "Goodnight, I love you too mommy." The most frequent question "Where Dosh, Dorge and Daddy go?" She likes to do everything and anything that I do. What a gift and yet a huge responsibility that I've not experienced with the others. My mommy stuff was and is that to the boys..mommy stuff. Now with Ri, she listens more to how I talk with friends or watches how I interact with Jamie and non-stop asks questions about what I'm doing. It's great. Everyone is growing up so fast. I'm getting glimpses of the thousands of times I've heard enjoy them, it goes by quickly. Man, it does. I'm reminded to slow down and not take these fast paced moments for granted.

Here are a few recent pics of Georgy starting preschool and Riley down at the water. Words cant express how much I adore these two. Pictures capture why I do.

Just Me

Jamie and the boys planned a trip to Virginia this weekend to visit a dear friend. It occurred to me that never before have Riley and I spent 24 hours alone together. It has been so relaxing and fun. Lots of time spent quiet, reading books, shopping (super easy with just 1 kid), and hanging out. It is amazing to watch and discover her apart from her brothers. She doesn't know life without them, misses them tremendously when they are gone, but hopefully enjoys her time with just me. I know I have.

Summer Vacation

Myrtle Beach 2010

My word....let go.

It was inevitable that this day would come. And if you know me, you know I've been crying about it for a little over a year now. Kindergarten. School. Letting Go. It makes me breathe deeply, feel anxious and cry...all the time. Nonetheless, tomorrow is the day that Joshy leaves home and spends his first day at school. He doesn't even know what he is getting himself into, as if he has a choice, but he says he's "a little bit excited." There are so many emotions I'm going through, but what keeps me moving forward is knowing that I've spoken with God about this topic for long enough to feel comfortable and to take the next step in sending Joshua to public elementary school. I love talking to my girlfriend who says, "is there any other option?" Oh to feel so free in thinking about what has been concerning me for wayyyyy tooooo loooong!!!!! Jamie is and has been my rock through this whole transition. I used to feel crippled by his "I trust you to make the right decision for Josh," statements and on the back side now feel blessed that he knows me well enough to give me space to process, and reprocess every step of the way. I'm sad to see Josh grow up. I mean I really want him to stay small forever. But I know I have to share him, and I'm excited to see who he brings over for play dates, the new discoveries he'll make, the connections he will form, the experiences he'll have, the growing up he'll do. Joshy is such a gift. One I feel privileged, honored, proud to share. Im thankful God has spent the last year and a half preparing me for tomorrow.

Riley swims 025.avi

I mean really....this is the summer my children have decided to grow up. Riley decided that this weekend she was going to swim. I'm sure watching her brothers has a bit to do with her absence of fear, but I've been watching her go through the steps of TEACHING HERSELF how to swim. I've been fighting it. The panic that sets in when one or two aren't accounted for is too much for me. Not to mention that little Riley doesn't seem to mind if I'm around to save her or not. Good Gracious. She does look so adorable swimming in the water though; her arms moving like a tiny sea turtle.

Pickin' it up

A random day in the front yard turned monumental. Apparently these types of things just happen. I feel blessed to be able to watch and record them. Check it out.... Sorry for the narrating in the video. It was very spontaneous and I was extremely nervous watching this for the first time.

My little girl

I haven't blogged in a while. Even though a bunch has changed with us, I guess it hasn't been enough for me to muster up the last ounce of brain power to sit down and type it out. It also has occurred to me that I am most likely to blog when my heart feels heavy. Tonight I'm reflecting on my little girl. She'll be two on Thursday. Cliche I know, but it feels like yesterday she was in my arms coming home to meet her brothers. Light, sweaty from the car ride home layered with too many hospital blankets, a petite little nose, eyes closed and sleeping. I can honestly say that I could have never dreamed that having a little girl was going to be so stunning. The older she gets, the more I adore her. The connection has always been there, but I can only describe my experience with her like this....all of the regular joys and challenges of childhood, but with a girl twist. For example, the boys have always been okay letting me take care of them. From what they ate to how they dressed. It's not in their nature to help carry things or even figure out how to put on their own shoes. I've encouraged these things to which they have generally seemed uninterested. Riley however has innately been different. I supposed she has spent her last two years keenly observing me taking care of our family, because she seems to know just what to do and how to help. At the pool she will gather the wet bathing suits and towels, carrying them to the car. Without me speaking a word I should add. Coming home from the beach she will line up her brother's shoes and remind them to put them on. At the dinner table she has begun singing the blessing. She throws her trash away without being asked. She can follow more than ONE step commands (sorry Joshy and George). She buckles her brothers seat belts and then attempts her own. She hands me the clean dishes from the dishwasher. Each morning she carries Joshua's book bag to his classroom. When she notices any chair pulled out, she will push it in. If Kiddo spills water on the floor she will say "uh oh" and ask for a paper towel to clean up the mess. I mean the list goes on and on. She has turned this corner in her second year of life that has me thrilled wondering what is in store next. I've noticed a perfect balance recently between an energetic explorer and an intuitive little girl. There is such purpose in most of what she accomplishes. She is still a daddy's girl asking each morning after he leaves for work "where daaaady go?" And then hearing his door shut when he comes home from work running to the window to scream "daaaaaaaadddddy!" It's precious. She also loves her brothers, Dora, everything water, her bear, her pink blanket, bananas, cheese sticks, salsa, couponing (I'm not kidding. She calls them pon poms), bubbles, swinging, shoes and brushing her teeth. It's so fun to watch my daughter shift into this little person. I have this huge lump in my throat and I'm not sure if it is because I am overjoyed to be her mother and reflecting on her milestones makes me so proud, or if I'm so heavy hearted knowing that she will wake up from a nap one day and be 25. Both I guess. I'm thankful either way for my little girl.