The gift of Kidd

I used to loath all the dog hair I had to clean each day. These past two days though I've been searching for it. The smell of my old dog was unbearable to say the least and now I pick up his bed just to remember his smell. I miss Kidd so much. He passed away this past Sunday. Oddly enough though it is the gift my husband gave that has lingered more than any hair or smell.

In the last six months, Kidd's health had been declining. He'd been having frequent seizures and taking medication daily. This past Sunday, the seizures returned and it became clear to Jamie and I that he should not have to suffer like that anymore. Sparing the details, Jamie took Kidd to the emergency vet. Shortly after he'd left, I got a phone call from him, his voice clearly shaken on the other end telling me I needed to put the kids in the car and come to the hospital to say good-bye. Extremely uncomfortable and a bit reluctant, I listened knowing Jamie needed me. I walked inside and saw Kidd. I went to him crying, petting and kissing him softly. He was so beautiful, so soft, so still, so quiet, so right there with us. His presence was strong and gentle. He was okay. He was free from pain, from being afraid, from being old. It was like he was young again. All of our memories flooded me while I cried out loud. I knew exactly why Jamie called me. He knew I needed to see Kidd this way. He knew we needed to be together. The three of us. The same way we celebrated his young life, we were able to celebrate his later life. I cant explain the peace I felt knowing he was free. I didn't know it at that moment, but I now know he will always be with me. I still see him. I see his face propped up on our (his) leather chair, sleeping soundly. I hear him walking in the hallway. Each time I open the back door I'm reminded of the loop he would take around the picnic table. When I walk in the front door I see him lift his head. When the kids are playing outside, I see him laying close by. Every one of my thoughts involves Kidd. I didn't realize the presence he held in our everyday lives. Jamie and I have cared for him for 15 years. I know time will win. I know the sounds and sights will fade. I hate it, but I know its inevitable. I do know though that Kidd was one of a kind. Our first dog. And I loved him deeply. Good-bye Kiddo.

The Here and Now

Seems like forever since I've sat down to post. Busy, busy here on the home front. Like most I know. Homeschooling gets better each week. We are fully flowing and adding in each kid the more routine we settle into. Little George now attends preschool Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays, and then "does" homeschool Tuesdays and Thursdays. Riley schools everyday. Even though she is not required to be with us, she always chooses to "do her homework." It is precious. She is super eager to know how to read. She wants to know what each word says, and if Im busy with Joshua, she just makes up the words. Usually it's just a combination of all the phrases she knows with a few nonsense words in between. "Jesus says do not be afraid, and then I do a kick with my dancing shoes." It's cute. Joshua is such a blessing to teach. I'm so excited about choosing curriculum for the summer and next school year. I've got a solid feel for what he is capable of and so choosing topics and subjects to focus on is so exciting. Since the seasons have changed, we've been doing lots of outside school, pool school, and most recently, travel school. Knowing all of our children are ocean obsessed, Jamie took us all to Atlanta to visit the Aquarium. It is the largest in the world. That I didn't know. So we spent 4 days in the middle of the city learning all about Atlanta's history, watching and talking about so many different ocean animals we had not seen, walking everywhere, playing in the Centennial Park, swimming late at night, sleeping in the same beds...and the list goes on. This trip was so much fun for our family. Pictures coming soon. We've been enjoying basketball camps, beach days, steaks on the grill, books on tape, and watching our plants grow. We are most eager for the water to warm so we can pile our surf boards into the van to catch some waves. Yay, it's here.